A little step into the time machine for this, my first-ever entry in a spiral-bound notebook that I kept as a journal from 2004–11. I think I italicized journal in opposition to diary. As you’ll see below, I meant business. 

Much of this is really entertaining for me. I burst out laughing when I read that I needed to speak with my friend Jacob about other “character flaws” to address as a junior in high school. (I don’t recall if such a conversation ever happened.) 

In other ways, it’s a difficult read. It’s a little depressing, twenty years on, to see yourself at 16, struggling so hard toward self-improvement, determined to create space for others and taking as little as possible—and realizing that that impulse never really went away. 

August 25, 2004

Starting this book is something that I have been both wanting and meaning to do since the start of this summer. I originally had the desire to begin writing it after reading Blue Sky, Blue Water, a science fiction novel written by a friend of mine, Lissa Haegert. 

Right at the start here I would like to make it clear that this book, this journal, will not be a recording of high school crushes and rantings of hatred. The purpose of this writing is to assist me in the process of collecting my thoughts, record daily events, and set personal goals. It is my hope that this book will especially act as a catalyst for positive change in my life. 

To start things off I would like to make a “goal” list of sorts for the upcoming school year. At the end of the year, I think, I will grade myself in these areas. 

The following are my goals for the 2004-05 school year: 

~To demonstrate maturity in character and spirituality at all times. 

~The Golden Rule, treat others the way I would want to be. 

~To be open to other people, to respect their opinions. 

~To let people like me for who I am, rather than what I pretend to be. 

~To not care what people think about me and not base my decisions on that factor. 

~To finish The White City Chronicles. [A book series I was writing at the time.]

~To beat the Wind Waker and Metroid Prime. 

~To witness to Andrew and Rachel and to continue to witness to Kristin. 

~Come back into friendship with Kevin. 

~To fortify current relationships. 

~To get more involved at church. 

~To respect and care for Grandma and Grandpa Lind more. 

~To stay in contact with Iva. 

That’s it for now. I hope to go over these with Jacob soon and inquire of him what he thinks I should change about myself (character flaws). 

— 

I don’t recall why, exactly, my friend Melissa’s novel inspired me to write a journal, but it’s funny seeing her impact in my life still today. Twenty years on, we’re both still writing. In January, she welcomed me to a writing group that she runs. All that to say, she deserves much of the credit (or blame?) for any discipline I have to make the thoughts in my head appear on the screen before you. 

My heartfelt thanks, Melissa, for creating space for me. 

If you enjoy my writing, please consider supporting me on Patreon for as little as $2/month!